“As we learn to speak from the heart we are changing habits of a lifetime.”
~Marshall Rosenberg
Marshall Rosenberg called Nonviolent Communication: a Language of Life™ and learning NVC is much like learning a new language focused on needs! It is much easier to speak and understand a new language fluently by immersing yourself in the culture! Attending workshops and practice groups is one way to nurture your empathic and compassionate nature, and develop NVC consciousness.
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10 Things We Can Do to Contribute
to Internal, Interpersonal, and Organizational Peace
- Spend some time each day quietly reflecting on how we would like to relate to ourselves and others.
- Remember that all human beings have the same needs.
- Check our intention to see if we are as interested in others getting their needs met as our own.
- When asking someone to do something, check first to see if we are making a request or a demand.
- Instead of saying what we DON’T want someone to do, say what we DO want the person to do.
- Instead of saying what we want someone to BE, say what action we’d like the person to take that we hope will help the person be that way.
- Before agreeing or disagreeing with anyone’s opinions, try to tune in to what the person is feeling and needing.
- Instead of saying “No,” say what need of ours prevents us from saying “Yes.”
- If we are feeling upset, think about what need is not being met, and what we could do to meet it, instead of thinking about what’s wrong with others or ourselves.
- Instead of praising someone who did something we like, express our gratitude by telling the person what need of ours that action met.
The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) would like there to be a critical mass of people using Nonviolent Communication language so all people will get their needs met and resolve their conflicts peacefully.
2001, revised 2004 Gary Baran & CNVC. The right to freely duplicate this document is hereby granted.
Hear what some workshop participants have to say
*My intention to improve my deep listening skills has already made a difference in some of my more difficult relations. My strategy to be patient with my impatience is helping me take the time to hear someone out before needing to respond. It has helped me be more patient with my usual impatience to complete daily tasks, especially those I usually consider menial and boring! Thanks again for your workshop. FYI, I told my therapist about the positive impact on my attitude since the workshop. ~Marcia
*I am deeply changed in the way I am thinking about my relationships after doing the compassion towards others meditation. I never thought about things that way, and I want to thank you for opening my eyes to a new way of thinking ~ compassionate communication practice group participant. Columbus, OH
*Feeling supercharged with love, gratitude, and understanding. Thank you, Jeff Brown and Teresa Speakman for a full day of teachings on speaking peace. I honor the great work you both are doing. ~Anna Ferguson, World Peace Yoga Cincinnati, OH
*Hey there, Since your workshop, I have found myself engaging in a lot of conflicts that I would usually run away from. Most importantly I feel more excited about the NVC process and its abilities. P.s. I also adored your talk on mourning when needs don’t get met. I find myself using this a lot (and it’s very helpful). ~JD